A new Love.....

Through the years of my life I have had several loves. Some short others long. It is my current love that I want to write about at this time.This tale starts at the end of another. My last love was Ralph. He and I had a a relationship that had lasted for just over ten years. I have many very fond memories of Ralph to this day.

The fact is that even after our relationship as a couple came to an end we were still good friends and lived together for another three years. Both of us dated during this time and helped each other deal with the problems we each encountered.

I still love each and every one of the men that I have had the joy of being a part of my life. Each of them taught me and helped me grow.One of the strange things that I have experienced is that each and every one of them were not from Seattle. I don't know why or what it is about me that I have the dumbest luck with relationships. First is was Seattle-Phoenix AZ, then Seattle Vancouver BC and then Seattle - Boston MA.

It was at the end of the Seattle - Boston relation ships that I thought all would change. Ralph and I had been broken up for a couple of years. Even with as hard as it was the two of us some how managed to remain friends helping each other with the new relationships that we both had. During our time together Ralph always would always ask me “ what is it that you are looking for?” I never knew how to answer that question and I guess I never under stood it either. But as in all things it was to be answered in time for both Ralph and myself.

About two years after the two of us had started living new lives and new relation ships that as twisted as life can be a new road opened for me one day. Ralph loved to chat, So he spent much of his time online meeting new friends and finding new relationships. One evening he headed out to meet with some one that he had met online at Star bucks for coffee. I was home when Ralph returned. I have this moment of my life engraved into my memory and trust that it will never fade.

Ralph walked through the door first and was followed my the guy he had met online. It was at that moment that the answer to the question that Ralph always asked me I was able to answer to my self at lest. I don’t know what it was but am so grateful that it was at last answered for myself. Behind Ralph was Jean Pierre. I was a bit taken back and I was confused as to why Ralph had gone to meet with JP as he was not what Ralph would have normally been interested in for any sort of relationship. Ralph had always been attracted to the more GQ type of guys in general and JP was not that. He was slender, dark hair, deep penetrating brown eyes and stole my heart the moment I say him. I knew then that JP was who and what I had been looking for.
That first evening we all went into the kitchen. Well you know a good party is always in the kitchen. The three of us spent the evening talking getting to know each other. As time went by we all be great friends. Knowing the way I felt about JP I was truly at a loss at first as he and Ralph had hooked up first and even with Ralph and I being separated and all. I just could not pursue any thing other then friendship with JP even though I knew I wanted much much more then just that.

During the first three months that we all hung out together going to dinner and out dancing for the evenings. I kept finding myself growing closer and closer to JP. It was also during this time that Ralph learned that his mom was suffering from kidney disease and would need a kidney transplant. There were two members of Ralph’s family that were compatible with his mother for the transplant. His sister and Ralph him self. Ralph refused to allow his sister to be the donor as the kidney disease runs on the female side of the family and it was most likely that she would face the same problem as her mother. So Ralph became the donor and went through all of the test to make sure that it would work.

Before Ralph left to head back east for the operation for his mother I sat down and chatted with him. I asked him what was the story between him and Pierre. He let me know that they were just friends. I told him I asked because I really was interested in Pierre but that there was no way that I was going to get in the way if he was pursuing a relationship with Pierre. He assured me that there was not.

Ralph’s mother lived back east and finally Ralph headed back for the surgery for the transplant. On the night of the surgery JP came over to the house to wait with me to hear what the results were. He showed up just before I got a call from Ralph’s sister letting me know that the surgery was a success and that both Ralph and his mother were doing great.

We spent the rest of the evening on the couch talking about life. I told Jean Pierre about my life and some of the stories that I had lived through. In return he told me more about his life. We had been there for about an hour or so when Pierre stopped me. He told me he had to stop me and tell me something as I had been the one doing most of the talking. But I do tend to chat quite a bit after a couple of glasses of wine. Just ask any of my friends and they will let you know that it is way to true. But in life there are those moment that are just so special and so rare that you see them as if it had just happened. This was one of those for me.

Pierre looked at me and told me “it is so funny we have been sitting her for the last hour chatting and I know you better then Ralph after the last three months. I don’t know what it is but there is just this wall with him that I just can not seem to get past.” I started to laugh a little and told him that I understood and that I had tried to get past that same wall for the ten years that we were together.

The two of us looked at each other and I don’t know if I leaned over or if he leaned over to me or we both did. But I knew all I wanted was to kiss him and I did. After we kissed I looked up into those beautiful brown eyes of his and asked him if he was going to leave for the night. With a huge grin and a sparkle in his eye he told me “no way I am spending the night here.” That night I held him close to me and I woke the next day with him at my side and I knew that I was going to have a hard time telling Ralph the answer to his question.