Randy a start to life

This next story is a part of my life that i wish to share. Please excuse my miss spellings as this is a hard story for me to share. This eveing as I tell this story Molly sits curled up at my side ginving me the confort that I need. Please let me know what need correcting as this is just a ruff draft. Thanks again for reading what I share of my self with you.

Love is the greatest part of life that we all get to experiance. My first true love was and has been one of the most defining parts of my life. It started me on my life journey that I now follow. I was in my third year of high school. Learning about the normal things that we all study. Math, english, history and science. I had decieced to take an electronics class. You just never know or understand how something so insignificant can make such a large change in ones life. This was just what I was about to experiance.

Now before I contiue I must let you all know that this is one of the gost of my past. It is a part of my life that is not easy for me to talk about. There are for all of us parts of our past that bring great great pain and hurt to us all. This is one of those times and part of my life that I have relived time and time agian and I still have not nor do I believe will ever be able to stop the tears that this part of my past bring to my eyes. I tell this story to help bring so peace to my mind some peace to my soul. This is the story of the closes soul that I shall ever be able to share.

their are some people that when you meet you just know that they are the most special part of your life that you will ever get to experiance. I share this story of you my friend. I will never forget you. Those who will never know you can grasp that which is the most important part of my life.

It all started durring the fall of 1989. I had spent the last year getting use to highschool. seeing what it is to be able to start to chart your own life, to be able to make the choices that lead your self in the derections that you hope that your life will follow. That fall i had signed up for the classes that I would use to help me learn the those things that would help me follow that path that I thought would be my life. How far from the truth this turned out to be still to this day has seceeded to amaze me.

One of the classes was to be in electonics. The first day in this class we had were to be set up with our lab partners. It was this day above all others that have set me on the corse of my life. It was this day that I meet the most important person to change my life that i would know. The reason is that I had always been a loner. One of those kids that always was on the out side. I was didn't have a friend that was close enough to talk about growing up the fears that I had the joy of sharing with some one who would understand and be there for you when you need someone. Little did I know that all that was about to change for me. We were all asked to partner up whith a friend or whom ever we wanted to have as a lab partner. Every one got paired up and I was stuck with out any one that was not who I had hoped for. And the person sitting next to me said to me that I was not the person that he had wished to be stuck with either. As strange as that was it was that start of the most important friendship that I would ever have or ever experiance.

My lab partners name was Randy. If I knew where this friendship would lead I don't know if I would still have made a friend with him. I know that sounds strange especially after i have mentioned that he is the most important person that I have ever meet. At the same time it has become the greatest loss of my life and the pain and hurt that I feel could never be put to words.

Keeping the story short as time whent by and Randy and i worked togther as lab partners we became inseperal friends. As the days went by and become months we grew closer than I thought was posible or thought that that two people could share. As time goes by I will tell you more of the story the two of us shared but for now I am going to keep it short as it is one that is to hard for me to tell. The short about Randy is that he did not have the best of familly life. His mother is one of the most caring people that I know. One who will always seach and find what is best in life for her and her familly. His step dad at the time was another story. It was through the dificulties that he faced and the normal problems that each of us face as adolesence growing up and It was through these problems that we both faced that I have had the most incredible experiance of my life. To this day some thing that i still have problems believing to be true. But at the same time I know it was just that and one that I hope that I will be able to experiance again.

Randy and I leaned and shared a closeness that I hope each of you who read this get to experiance in your life as there is nothing a precious or more improbable that one can share with any one. Those of you who have or ever get to expriance this type of closeness will understand that which it is that I am trying to share with you. For those of you have not I hope that some day you will. As hard as this is to see as being true believe me it is nothing more that that the simple truth of what the two of us where able to share with each other.

Randy and I some how with out undersanding how or caring why became so close, we cared about each other so much that we got to a point that when either of us had a problem that we were able to understand each other problems before the other even told what it was that was wrong. We were both were able to not only undersand what was going on but able to give each other the answer to what would make things right. I still to this day remember it and the look on Randy's face as I helped him and the feeling that I had as he did the same for me. Working through those times in our lifes not knowing where we were headed what it is that laid before each of us.

Time went by and we contiued to grow closer as each day went by. His mother finally left his step dad. With in the next year i had finished High School and Randy who was a year behind me mother had moved to eastern Washington taking her two boys with her. That summer I went and vistited Randy not knowing what laided in front of the two of us, a night that has is imprinted on my soul as the wost night of my life. I had a wonderful time while I was there. We both lived life to its fulles doing the things that you do durring your youth swimming and just having the kind of fun that makes ones hart sore.

We had both came to a part in our lifes that we had both come to understand that we were ment to share and life the rest of our lives together. Each of us knew that we wanted nothing more that to be a part and spend our lifes together. There was nothing that we could not do. If I could change any part of my life what was to come next is the one part that i would change no matter the out come.

The night of my night meres that will never leave me is what came next. That following fall I had not seen Randy for a while and he had just purchased a mortorcycle so he was going to be able to come back to Seattle and visit me. I was so excited and looking forward to seeing my best friend once again. To be able to be together once again. The evening that Randy finally arived our friends were at my home and it was late and they were all just about to leave when her finnally arrived. I will always remember as if it had just happened and for me it is just as it was then. I remember the joy and happyness that filled me at seeing him at being togther once again. Little did I know what it was that I our friendship ment to the two of us. It is to my sorrow that life teaches us what means the most to us in those hours, minutes and seconds that will never leave us. The next few hours have been imprinted on my soul that I shall never ever forget them.

Just after Randy arived my friends where leaving for the evening. Randy told me that he wanted to go and spend some time with them as he had not seen them for a long time. Not worrying about it I told him to go with them and that I would stay home. I was staying in the basement of my home at the time. Our friends headed down the hallway and up the stairs to leave. Randy followed but waited at the same time for them to head up the stairs to leave leaving the two of us alone. Nothing has ever or will ever mean as much to me as what was to happen. Randy stopped halfway down the hall way. I can still see it as if it were happening to me this moment nore will i ever see it any other way. I can see him stop and turn to face me. He walked slowly down to me and stopped. Looking me in the eyes holding my soul close to his he told me that he loved me. He held me in his arms for the first and only time that I was able to know. I never saw him in that light before I never thought that he and I could be lovers but in that second I had know doubt to what he told me.

He then told me that he would be back in a little while. I told him the door would be open so he could come in. I went off to bed as I had to go to work the next day. I was just about off to sleep and the phone rang. I didn't think much of it as the phone often wrang at night with my moms job. Next there was a knock at my door. The phone call was not for my mom it was for me. It was for me one that that I hope never will ever have to live again. I looked at the phone in horror but picked it up the same. The call was from Harborview hospital. Randy had had an acident on his mortercycle and was in a coma and needed to have surgery that only his mom could aprove. I was the only one that they had the number for so I gave the hospital his Mothers number and they hung up as there was no time to wait.

I remember sitting in my bed in shock. Not knowing what to think or what to do. mom came back to my bed room as I sat there in my bed and asked me if I was going to go to the hospital. I still remember saying i didn't know what to do and then relising the truth of it all and saying that I had no choice but to go to the hospital.

To this day those at the hospital sill remember the not ever seeing so many friends show up in the middle of the night for any one. They told me that they had never seen so many people show up for any one. the emegancy room was full and all and every one that was there was there for Randy, He was that loved and cared about by so many. there are few that are out there that can drive this kind of responce that to this day it is still remembered.

The rest of that night I can only rember being in shock sitting in the emegancy room. I don't remember many of my friends coming to me as they knew how cloce the two of us were. For next three months i went to the hospital to see Randy and there was little change to him. He seemed to me to be nothing but a shell of the friend that I had. I spent day after day sitting by his side chating with his mom who never lost faith that her son would return to her. i shared the same faith that my friend who had finally told me that he loved me would return to us.

It was close to christmas that life started to return to Randy. He had been in a coma from the acident that took him from me for over three months. I sat one day i don't know what night it was other then being there. I remember telling him as I had done time after time again that I was there and that I loved him more then anthing else. I was holding his hand it had never moved but that time it did and he squized my hand in return. i was over joyed that at long last he would recover and leave the coma that had become my best friends life.

As time went by and Randy finally left the hospital and was able to go home and start his life again, did the reallity of it all come to life. All that had been there prior was gone all of the friendship was at a loss he only seemed to remember me for being there as he woke to life once again. To this day as far as I know he never came back to what he was prior and does not remember what it was that we were. My friend the person that ment life to me was gone. I did try for serveral years to keep in touch with him. I did learn that he did graduate from our high school and was able to walk to get his diploma but his memories of me where gone.

I weep every day that his story comes to my mind. I miss him more than anthing in my life and will never forget the friend and love that I have for him. I will never stop loving him I only hope that some day that the tears that come to my eyes will turn to memories of the love that we shared. For all my life I have searched for this love. I hope that some day I can feel what I was able to share with him. I hope and trust that I will be able to share that love once again. I don't know how to share or tell the story of that love and that kind of caring that one can have for another. It was a rare and special gift that was a part of my life one that I hope never will leave me.

To you my friend, My first true love that was returned. I can never forget you and trust that I never do. I love you my friend I will never forget you or your memory of what you mean to me. Thank you for the lesons you taught me. Your kindness your spirit and love of life. Your ability to see what is needed and the help you have given that made me in to part of who and what I am you will never be forgoton. your ability to be happy and make those around you feel the same when they felt so lost. you where my soul mate one of which I have searched for sence the night I lost I lost you. i have wished night after night that you would some day remember me and what we meant to eachother.

I bear my heart to this story. As this is a story of mine that has hurt me to the core of my being. Those of you who know me that have seen my tears. Thank you for your love and your suport. It has been years that have gone by now. I remember the lesons that I leared from my young friend. i don't know what it was between the two of us that put both of us be yound our years. but those leasons that advice that Randy gave to me sever me to this day. It is my montra. do no harm, live life to its fullest. Love those for who and what they are. Do no harm to any other. i have and will my life by this. My thanks to you can never be repaid. All my love to you Randy hart and soul I can never forget you and I never wish to.